They say that kids with attachment disorder have problems with respect. That's about the biggest understatement I've ever heard.
Our 7 year old is so passive aggressively disrespectful that we often don't even realize the dig until it's past. When he first came home it was constant, but it's gotten a lot better. Tonight he had a little relapse.
Ds: "Mama, how long until Natasha comes home?"
Me: "17 days."
Ds: "It's maybe 3 or 5 days until Natasha comes home."
He does it with a perfectly straight tone of voice, so it slips right by. But then, hey! That was a dig he just got in there! He was being disrespectful, and I suspect there was a little intelligence quiz in there too. He was thinking, let's see if Mama's stupid enough to let this one slide.
Ugh. So he lost his voice for 10 minutes since he used it to be disrespectful (while I try to shake the anger he just gave me).
Our kids are almost never overtly aggressive. We don't deal with name calling or violence. Our kids use passive aggression and they are experts. It means that we have to always be on alert because there is often no warning sign it's coming. We used to not respond when he did that kind of thing, but it seems like he does better when we name it the disrespect that it is. So we stay on alert, one more thing to commit brain energy to. Ugh.
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